I'm going to try to take this blog more seriously. Simply because I realized in the month of November that I seriously need some sort of outlet, a way to reflect. Normally this is a task I would reserve to my close female friends, but with schedules packed and the holidays upon us in a ruthless way, I've decided on option B. B for Blog.
In addition, this did start as a way to explain some of the daily things I go through and while I'm not vain enough to believe that my life is any more exciting than yours, there's only so much sympathy any of my girlfriends can express when I complain about the ridiculous amount of diminished chords in Kill Wife and how inadvertently I was angry at Trevor for a small portion of the evening because of it.
Due to the overwhelming nature of my schedule (I had to actually create a google calender. For the first time in my life I am following a calender) I need some me time, and these days it's hard to come by. But if I schedule in the "me" time in the form of a blog, can I justify it? Yes, I can.
As of a month and a half ago (or was it two?) I was asked to join another band as the full time keyboardist and I agreed (because whats the harm in making more contacts and friends? Both things that could benefit juxTApose in the long run.) and that has presented both its own rewards and problems. Rewarding in that I'm playing music with different musicians, it's a different style of music to adapt and master, and ultimately the networking aspect of it as well. Problematic in that I'm playing music with different musicians and it's a different style of music. I understand the duality of it may seem odd, but after essentially playing with the same man for three, perhaps four years, and a bassist for a year and a half (not to mention the most amazing, adapatable drummer), playing with anyone else at a skill level other then the unparalleled mastery of Trevor, is frustrating for me. That's not to say this band isn't good, because they are. What I'm saying is I'm used to things being a certain way, I'm used to playing music a certain way (which isn't necessarily a good thing either). Practices are run as such, seventh chords are praised, and communication is effortless. In short, playing with this other band is a whole different way of looking at things for me, which makes me wonder just how other bands get the job done? It's getting easier for sure (and thank God Trevor saw fit to train my ear from the very beginning), but two practices a week for just one band plus the number of shows can be trying. All of this is balanced on top of my duties for juxTApose, which I assure you are not few and far between. But being busy is a good thing, and it's just a matter of time before I adapt to the schedule. Perhaps I am too used to lazy days, and this in turn will teach me to use my time more wisely. One thing is for sure, thank God for the google calender.
November was especially busy because I'd agreed to play synth parts for Dendura, Justin's (our drummer) original band. Dendura is a progressive egyptian metal band. Talk about reaching outside of your comfort zone, I was all about it in November. The music was difficult, the songs impressive, and the gig was phenomenal. As long as that gig day was, it was worth every minute. The experience was entirely different, and yet completely the same as gigging with juxTApose. I credit this in part to still playing with Justin, and to Aziza (the singer) and her friendliness. I was comfortable, and felt like a badass. One thing I noticed (and missed) was the lack of camaraderie between the bands. I believe this can be attributed to several things, genre of music and ensuing personality along with national act status to name a few. I say this cautiously, because I am no experienced metal keyboardist, nor an avid listener of the metal genre in itself. But if I'd had to guess....? A band would play, and that was it, there was no casual socializing between the separate bands , at least from what I could see, but either way, it was a blast, but it was a LONG day. I was glad to be at home and in bed with my cats and Trevor at the end of it.
On the juxTApose front, the winds are a blowin'. After several heartfelt talks with the boys, the anticipation to really get the ball rolling is almost tangible. 2011 is our year, and I know this because Trevor said so. This may seem silly, but after dealing with his chronic pessimism in all areas of his life, hearing him say something as positive and off handedly as, "You know Cass, 2011 is it. This is the year. We're ready, this is the right group of people, finally," my heart could burst. We've got a plan, and we've got our work cut out for us. T-shirts are gonna be ordered at the end of the week (FINALLY!), I've designed a business card for us and those are going to be ordered at the end of the week as well. We're sorting through originals, assembling a full length album, and writing, writing, writing, and gigging, gigging, gigging. Our prime source of income is through gigging, though the hope is that the t-shirts will provide an additional sum. (I think the design is awesome, but of course, I did design it.) That being said, the next few months in the lives of juxTApose are bound to be entertaining. Some of the things we're attempting to do are going to be new to all of us, except maybe for Justin, who has played successfully in other bands. For example, we're gonna order the t-shirts, but how do we sell them? Do we need a cash box? What size bank and what denominations should we carry? How do we display the merchandise? How do we transport the merchandise? Do we sell stickers or give them away? And what about a website? Do we pay money for it? Do it ourselves? Is it worth the money for a domain name? And how about the actual gigging itself? Do we write up a performance contract? We've been screwed before. How do we approach the bars we don't know? How do we get reviews in papers? And really, when it comes right down to it, how do we create a buzz for juxTApose?
juxTApose is ready at the core of things. We've got the covers, we've got the catchy originals, and we've got it down so well I can drink several beers and shots before we play and still look and sound good. We've got the art, the memorable logo and the constantly evolving look we want on our graphics (<-- which keep me busier then you might believe). The creative side is done (or is it?), now it's time to look at it from a business prospective, a prospective where I'm willing to bet money we need to evoke a little more creativity to get us where we want to go. I'm confident we all want it, I'm confident we're all committed. Now the biggest question is, who is going to do what?
Domestically, I've been non-existent, and I don't even feel bad about it. Today I did four loads of laundry, even though I had to work a third (it all comes back to that using my time wisely thing even when I just want to veg out on the couch with TLC) just to catch up, and that's not even all of it. I managed to employ Trevor on that front, he's supposed to be washing the bed clothes right now. I unloaded the dishwasher, and grabbed all the beer bottles and cups from our bedroom (Trevor and I are notorious at leaving cups up there). I even managed to tidy up the living room slightly today. I felt productive, but there's still so much to be done at home that I sometimes don't know where to start. It's times like these where I wish the others were bothered as much as I am at the ability of our house's cleanliness to rapidly degenerate, but they are who they are, and it could always be worse. This month though, home is going to be particularly challenging. Our former roommate left (under conditions that make my blood boil) and in his wake is an entire attic full of his crap, and a walk in closet (which includes a dresser and a trombone, and who knows what else) and another room in the basement, all full of his...stuff. Feeling adventurous, Dest and I decided to clean out the basement room one evening. The whole thing made me angry. Why should we have to clean up after him? The trash in the room ended up filling five trash bags. Yes, I'm serious. Five trash bags. And yet I felt very conflicted during the whole process. A lot of the things that ended up in the trash were (to me anyway) personal, such as birthday cards, Christmas cards, love notes from highschool, things of that nature. Then there was a series of paintings that were used in his film thesis. What do I do with these? One might say if he left it there, he obviously doesn't care about it, and yet what if he simply forgot about it, and if that's the case, is it my problem to hold on to them for him? Supposedly there are two boxes under the stairs that he wants us to hold on to for him. If he didn't put them in the boxes, does that make them fair game? Can I be rid of them? My morals (curse them) say no, and so I put the paintings and a few other things I felt strange about throwing away, into his boxes under the stairs. Who knows, maybe he'll never claim them anyway. At least they're packed away properly, and will be easy to dispose of if need be. But Dest and I spent a good two hours going through that room, and at the end of it I still didn't feel as if I'd accomplished much. The walk in closest in the basement is daunting, overflowing with a coffee table, dresser, poker equipment, more papers, film...crap...and who knows what else! And then the attic! It's still so much to go through, and I just don't have the time. And yet it drives me NUTS knowing it's up there, taking up space, and serving absolutely no purpose at all! Who needs eight computer towers and several broken monitors anyway?!
But like Jared told me, "What the point in being mad? It is what it is." I can't imagine anything being more true.
And that's where I'm at right now, overwhelmed, tired, uncertain and optimistic. This writing felt nice, I will do it again. I will try to be more consistent about it.
Peace and Love
